Letters to Little One

The Up Next

Dear Little One,

My sister and I recently housesat for a married couple from church. They have a little dog that is high maintenance and strange but all the while loveable, and their house is creaky and cute. Each day after work I’d head over and hang out for a bit, just sitting in the silence and doing all sorts of nothing, and each night, after we had dinner with the family, Natalee and I drove over, put in a movie and snacked on whiskey and chocolate cereal.

It was strange at first. Bringing our toiletries and a day’s worth of clothes over to a stranger’s house, only to bring them back home and do it all again the next night. It was a taste of what we’ve been craving lately: a place of our own. The house was a sort of stepping stone into the up next, and it was hard to give it up that following Sunday.

Our move is inevitable, maybe even closer than I think, and it’s exciting, but I think there’s a level of fear I’ve yet to discover. Right now, I’m so caught up in the unknown, so infatuated with the idea of the up next that I’ve yet to fully embrace the weight of what I’m letting go.

My family, the original 5, we’re something special, I really believe it. There’s just a magic about the group of us that I can’t explain in words, but can wholeheartedly feel. It’s unfathomable to think of a time when we won’t be together. Won’t annoy each other in the early mornings and laugh until we cry in the late evenings.

When the time comes, I feel my feet will fall on opposite sides of the decision. One will step forward while the other stays planted. It will be one of the hardest steps I’ve ever taken, but once my feet catch up to one another, there’s no telling where they’ll go next.

See you soon

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